slow your roll
When you first meet someone, it takes you 10 to 15 seconds to form a lasting impression of that person. They blink and cough. You decide they’re bad with money - just like that. Sounds a bit harsh doesn’t it? I guess that means any strangers who noticed me having a stern conversation with my front, left tire yesterday believe me to be one seriously unhinged gate. They wouldn’t know that I was simply having “one of those days”.
Its true first impressions are important, but they can be wrong. My name is Sasha, I run Two’s Company, a NZ Dating Agency for normal single people, and I am 100% sure that in the dating world, first impressions can be as wrong as perms.
Think about it. How do you feel on a first date? Are you calm and collected? Would you describe getting ready for a first date as awesomely fun and gratifying? Hell no. All people sweat over first dates. It’s natural. As a matter of fact for the first ten minutes of meeting that person, you’ll probably seem more like you have rabies and less like you have a brilliant personality. That’s just the way excited nerves work. This is why second chances are SO important to dating and in finding a partner.
When I sign new single clients up, I ask them what they are looking for out of the future and what are they looking for out of a partner. What are the important things for me to think about while I am looking through the books. Integrity, good friendships with others, looks after themselves, humble, are they comfortable with themselves, are some of the few that my singles are looking for when they are looking to meet new people and date.
Now for the most part these are not qualities you will necessarily be able to see on a first date. On a first date you don’t see how they treat others, how they treat you, how they treat themselves. You don’t see how they form their thoughts and opinions, how others treat them. You need two, three, four dates to see what this person is like. The more you get to know them, the more you either like them or dislike them. But either way, there is no pressure to make decisions, just have fun, get to know each other. No one has asked you to marry them . . . yet!
As a dating expert in NZ, I ask you to remember your most embarrassing moment. Recall a cringe worthy statement that stumbled out of your mouth or the time you just didn’t negotiate the curb properly, letting the pavement brake your fall. Lock these moments into your memory, and also lock in the fact someone was watching. Someone formed an opinion of you in that moment, and all that person did was witness you not at your best.
First dates are notorious not best’s. You deserve a redo. They deserve a redo. Don’t snap judge. Take time to love and be loved.
If you are sick of on line dating sites in NZ, and live in Auckland or Wellington, then look us up! We have been successfully matchmaking for 20 years, helping local singles to date and find a partner for life.