Mind Games
Games are a part of life. Sometimes you play for fun. Sometimes you play for blood. For those who are truly competitive, the preferred outcome is sheer dominance. In this case, I’m not referring to games played with balls, dice, or any other tangible accessory. I’m talking about mind games. They come in all shapes and sizes, and we especially love to sugar coat our mental tennis matches with frilly words like “coercive”, “coy”, or “mysterious”.
A spade is a spade. If you’re being coy, you don’t have the balls to say what you need to say. The mysterious guy chatting you up week after week might be hiding his girlfriend from you or . . . nothing at all. Don’t get me wrong, variations of the truth and chess moves are needed at times. For instance, you tell your boss you have a cold when in actuality you’re sick of your job. Hurtful? Harmful? Maybe . . . probably not. How about telling your partner she looks amazing in her new dress when . . . she clearly does not! Probably better to “white lie” on that one. But, how much of a “mind game” should you play when dating someone?
My name is Sasha Madarasz, I am the Matchmaker for Two’s Company, an NZ Dating agency Introduction agency for genuine single people who want to meet people and find a partner. I’m not a psychologist, but from what I’ve seen and heard, and trust me I’m immune to shock at this point, transparency is everything. Mind games are toxic to relationships. You want someone to like you? You need to show them who you REALLY are from the get go. Otherwise you’re wasting your time. If you feel like you’re tweaking your behaviour to impress a date and they’re digging it, your expiration clock has already started ticking. If you’re fighting your instinct to call someone you really like so that they think you’re not as into them as you really are, don’t.
People like to be liked.
And please, when you’re getting to know someone and they do something that gets your back up, just tell them calmly and clearly. The point here is to be honest when making new relations. Be brave and refreshing by being REAL. Games are for X-Box, not relationships. Set down the mind controller and plug into reality.
If you are sick of online singles dating sites in NZ and would like to meet people and find a partner, please contact us, your professional matchmaker, helping singles find love in Auckland and Wellington for over 19 years.