Making time to date
Getting what you want takes effort, no matter what your wish may be. This is why I’m always shocked by the amount of single men who tell me what they really want in a woman is someone who has time for a relationship. This is crazy talk. Has it really gotten to the point where women think men are some accessory they throw on when it suits them? Here’s the lowdown: When you want to lose weight, you don’t just buy a gym membership. You actually GO to the gym, watch what you eat, and all that other not so fun, but needed stuff. You put in the work. Luckily, dating is a lot more fun than sweating your way through a pump class.
I’m a matchmaker, and I know for a fact there are PLENTY of AMAZING SINGLES in Auckland. The “shortage” everyone complains about is nonexistent, but there is a reason singles aren’t connecting. The reason is serial dating mistakes. To be fair, dating isn’t the easiest of tasks in New Zealand. We’re notorious for being a country void of dating. For whatever reason New Zealand was born without the dating gene, but in saying that, there always has to be a first meet up between a woman and man.
So, let me use my good friend Miss X as an example of how not to treat this first catch up. She’s been single for a year. Over the past 2 months, she’s burned through approximately 3 men. Each of them was wonderful and fully qualified as long term material. What she did was play hard to get either knowingly or subconsciously. If they asked her out for dinner on Monday, she had Pilates. When invited to a movie on Wednesday, she had dinner with a girlfriend already in the works. Their invites would predominately be rewarded with a big fat, “Thanks, but I can’t. Let me get back to you”. This charade would only continue for so long until they’d quit trying, and I totally understand why. No one likes to be rejected. Whether you have a great reason for not accepting a date invite or not, in the end, no is no.
I understand the idea behind seeming “mysterious” or “not needy”. No man wants a clingon in his life; someone who is constantly waiting in the wings with nothing else to do but jump when beckoned. They want someone with pizzazz and their own interests and hobbies. They want a compliment to their lifestyle, not a complication. Of course you already have a full schedule. That’s what makes you an interesting and dateable person, but to let someone into your life, you need to make sure they become a priority in that schedule. Flag the workout for a date. When you’re on your deathbed, pretty sure you’ll be most thankful for the times you spent interacting with humans and not readjusting the weights on the leg press. And hey, no person is ever going slide perfectly into your life without interruption to your set up. It’s called compromise. If you can’t do it, don’t say you want a partner. Easy as that.
So, please consider the REAL fact that the guy who just invited you out for coffee just may be THE ONE. You’ll never know unless you take the time to find out. Rearrange your schedule to have a date. Say yes. Put in the effort. Love rewards the bold.
To find out more about how Two’s Company can help you meet the right singles contact us or phone Sasha 0800-021-522.