Second Date Rule
A local news paper recently ran an article about couples having children later in life. Not because of careers but because it has taken longer to meet Mr or Miss Right. I agree and disagree with this article. I agree that it is harder now to meet and date single people than it was 20 years ago and that’s why I started Two’s Company, simply to make sure genuine single people are getting the opportunities to meet other single people. I liken it to being in a full restaurant – there could be five single people in there perfect for you, but, how would you know? Well I know. I know because these people have taken the time to join Two’s Company, because they genuinely want to find a partner and love the idea of a matchmaker!
In my opinion, one of the reasons people are taking longer to settle down is because they are making quick judgement calls after just one date. They no longer want to take the time to get to know someone and think that they can sum that person up after just one date. They are not doing themselves any favours. Just think, would you like to be judged after just one date?
This is possibly the hardest part of my job as a matchmaker. Encouraging people not to make a judgement on whether this is the love of their life or not after just one date? Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it? I contact both parties after every first date I organise. Not to see how the date went but to check that they are happy with my role as matchmaker. All I want to hear is, “Nice person, not sure yet, but we are going to have a second date.” You would be surprised how many times people say “Oh I’m not sure if I could marry him . . .” and I reply, “Wow!! Did he ask you?” People go on these dates and expect to know straight away. I hear comments like, “But Sasha I know myself” and “Lovely person but . . .”
This is the best way I can make my point. September last year I was chatting to a woman following up after her first date with someone I had introduced her to. She said lovely guy but not for her, and could I put her back on the dating list. I asked her what she did on the date and she replied that they had gone out and talked for 5 hours! I then spent about 20 minutes persuading her to have a second date for all the above reasons. She finally succumbed and now, September, a year later and they are very happily together. All because she had a second date. I will quite unashamedly say that these two would not be together if I had not spent valuable, precious time and energy encouraging her that she had nothing to lose by having a second date.
No one can predict chemistry. All dating and introduction agencies like Two’s Company can do is to make sure you are meeting the single people of your choice. It’s up to you to do the rest. If you want to lose weight, you spend time and energy on eating right and exercise. You don’t expect to come out toned and fabulous after just one session. It takes time and commitment. All I’m trying to say is that twenty years of matchmaking for singles in Auckland and Wellington, this is the single best piece of advice I can give any one.
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For anyone who is ready to take the next step forward and meet that perfect person, Two's Company can help. It would be a pleasure to hear from you!